Today something someone gave me a pleasant surprise..I got a message from someone with a very positive feedback on my blog posts,as well as a request for a post on "Love marriages in India". I was shocked.. I have a fan? Omg..that means I have a reader *wipes tears of joy* :) Okay,so I can't ignore the request of my 1st reader/fan..so here i am with a post on Love Marriages in India!
Well,to begin with..this topic is relevant only for India and some other Asian countries where in marriages.love is secondary..In our Indian culture,we are brought up with certain do's and don'ts. In the list of don'ts "Falling in love and marrying your love" is at the top! Yes,you HAVE to marry BUT you can't marry the one you love..wait,you can't fall in love. That's a big taboo in our society. I have seen educated people belonging to good families creating a havoc when their son/daughter chooses a life partner on their own. The moment you bring a life partner of your choice,you bring utter disgrace to your family,to your culture and traditions!
In India,we don't have marriage..we have "Marriage business deals" where the target of parents is to "Select the best product bride/groom available in the market according to their budget and requirements.And when you choose your own partner just on the basis of "love" this doesn't leave any option for your parents to choose a perfect product match for you. When I say perfect match,it doesn't include the fact that the person loves you or not and has a similar mindset like you!. It simply means someone-
>Who is financially stable.
>Who is of your own religion and caste.
>Someone who belongs to a good family.
>Someone whom you they find suitable and perfect for you.
While making this business deal match making for you,all your parents want is "Your Happiness" They want you to live a happy and secure life.
I'm not taking sides,but when it comes to marriage,I firmly believe that if you are a person who is not open to a lot of adjustments and is rigid and stubborn..then it might be very difficult for you to have a happy married life in case of arranged marriage.
Okay the topic given to me was "Love marriages in India" and I have seen some very successful and happy love marriages in India.
Marriage is all about love,affection,concern and sacrifice..Even love marriages won't work if you can't sacrifice for your love.
My advice-
If you love someone and believe that the person is perfect for you,then convince your parents in a proper manner.Tell them that you want to start a new life with their blessings. Try to explain them the fact that "Love marriage" is not something to be ashamed of! In fact one day when they would see you living a happy married life,the perfect choice of their children would make them proud.
It's also important to understand that marriages do fail in many cases.Assume a case of arranged marriage which was totally the parents' decision and children obeyed blindly..and It failed badly! Does it means that they should blame their parents and keep cursing them throughout their life for the mismatch? No!! Same is the case with love marriages..when they fail,you can't keep blaming and cursing your children cause they fell in love with the wrong person.
Time has changed,and people are changing. It's not correct to follow everything at the name of western culture or progress..BUT what's wrong with embracing something which won't hurt you in any way? Love marriage is one such thing! It's my personal view that marriage is a very important decision of life and should be left on the person who has to marry. Its high time people in India should stop making such a big deal out of it. And for God's sake,you are not saving the honour of your family when you brutally murder a couple who wanted to marry! We are in the 21st century..it's time to grow up.
Reader views are most welcome. Kindly leave a comment :)
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Thanks for reading.
Really nice post,gal. I admire the way u expressed ur views on a sensitive topic.excellent work,as a newbie.Waiting fr ur next post..
ReplyDeleteHey sameer..thanks for reading n d comment!! :)
DeleteKudos to ur writing,suboohi mam! It was such a pleasure reading ur views. I know my parents wont ever support me for love marriage,but i also know very well that my kids wont have to give a 2nd thought before telling me about the person they love. Life wud be much simpler if parents thought the same way as we do.. but then,its this generation gap that kills!!Thanks so much,u actually dint take any time to post on the topic that i requested. :)
ReplyDeleteHiii shreya..the credit goes to u gal :) Its u who requested fr dis post.and abt the love marriage issue, Things will change wid time..!!
DeleteHey..read ur post nd must say,its very well written. I really wish my dad read this.. :P Its such an irony that falling in love is lyk the biggest crime in this country :(
ReplyDeleteThanks fr ur comment neha :)Stay tuned,for upcoming posts!!
DeleteThis is one post in which im sure evry indian youngster wud be very interested. I can relate to it perfectly..its been 2 years im trying to convince my parents to accept my love but they wont.because she is a muslim gal. They are totally against our marriage.She somehow convinced her family(it took a lot of time)they agreed after giving me sum tnc to which i agreed. but my family wont agree..I love her a lot and so does she..and we cant(we wont) marry anyone else. letz c how much tym it takes.
ReplyDeleteI hope they(my parents) once read ur nice views.
Anyways,all the best fr ur blog!
Thanks fr ur comment,Rahul. I very well knew that many youngsters can relate to it. Nd i can understand wat u both must be going through.. Stay strong,try ur best..it wud take time but dont give up..Have faith on the Almighty,and do tel me wen u both get an approval from ur parents :D
DeleteCommendable post!!! We are living in such a hypocrite society.. In india,we are expected not to mix up with opposite sex and one fine day when our parents choose 1 person for us,its perfectly fine to sleep with them!!Love is a tabboo and marriage is a compulsion.. WOW,isnt it??
ReplyDelete